Cook pancetta in a medium skillet over medium heat, stirring often, until browned and crisp, 5–8 minutes. Transfer to paper towels to drain; let cool.
Process cheddar, cream cheese, and butter in a food processor until smooth. Pulse in scallion, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and pancetta; season with salt. Scrape mixture into a small plastic wrap–lined bowl; gather plastic around cheese, using your hands to shape into a ball. Chill until firm, 3–12 hours.
Just before serving, cook garlic in oil in a small saucepan over medium heat, stirring often, until golden brown, about 3 minutes. Drain on paper towels.
Add shallots to saucepan and cook, stirring often, until golden brown and crisp, 5–8 minutes. Drain on paper towels; let cool. Discard oil. Mix garlic and shallots in a medium bowl. Roll cheese ball in mixture to coat. Sprinkle with Everything Bagel Spice Mix, pressing lightly to adhere. Serve with crackers.
Toast pistachios in a dry small skillet over medium-high heat, stirring often, until golden brown, about 5 minutes; let cool.
Combine 1/4 cup vinegar, 1/2 teaspoon paprika, and a pinch of kosher salt in a large saucepan and add water so mixture comes 1" up sides of pan. Fit with a steamer basket and bring liquid to a simmer over medium. Add beets, cover pan, and steam until tender, 30-40 minutes. Transfer to a large bowl and let cool slightly.
While beets are still warm, add 2 ounces goat cheese, remaining 1 tablespoon vinegar, and remaining 1/4 teaspoon paprika; season with kosher salt and pepper. Coarsely smash beets with a fork or potato masher, leaving some bigger pieces.
Serve topped with nigella seeds, pistachios, sea salt, and remaining goat cheese and drizzled with oil.
